Operation: Add a Kuhn

Rachel just announced publicly on Facebook that we are adopting and have just finished an approved home-study and are now heading into the waiting stage to be matched. With that info completely public now, here is what I wrote about the process when we were about 5 weeks into actively pursuing adoption, on March 14, 2013.

How did we get here? How did we decide that our fairly comfortable life with 3 boys in a nice house needed to have a baby in it? How did that happen?

It’s quite simple. And quite complex. The simple answer is that God called us to this. The complex answer includes thoughts and emotions, it involves obedience and a couple babies, it involves a sermon and some role models and story sharing. The complex answer is, well, complex.

Last summer Rachel called me from Africa, in tears she told me that God had asked her (us) to say, “Yes.” We’ve tried to make a habit of saying yes. Saying yes took us to Kansas City Missouri right out of college. Saying yes brought us back to Ohio almost 7 years later. But this time we didn’t know what saying yes meant. It was scary and hard.

So we said yes in the little things. We took more time to pray together. We became more intentional about seeking God’s will and saying, “Yes,” in the small things. And we waited.

Then Rachel spoke at a church where a grandmother had guardianship of her 2 week-old grandson, and the entire afternoon Jaquan was either in my arms or Rachel’s. On the way home we looked at each other and said something like, “Wow. We could have just taken that boy home for good. He probably needs it, and we could do that.”

Christmas came around. This season has caused me increasing discomfort in recent years, as I see all the stuff we have, all the stuff that isn’t really used. I hear the boys say, “I want one of those!” and I cringe at the materialistic sound of it. I hear myself say, “Man I need some new running shoes, and lights to run with, and a new phone would be awesome,” and I cringe.

Then Rachel brought up the idea of really giving at Christmas. We took a large portion of what we usually spend on the boys, and we asked them to help us spend it on some kids the school social worker told us would not be getting much of a Christmas. We prayed for the kids and we dreamed of what we could give them. We shopped and purchased and wrapped. Giving at Christmas that year was amazing. It moved giving to the forefront of our minds.

In January our church had a Sanctity of Life service. Much of the service was about why abortion is wrong, and I admit, I checked out a little bit, feeling there wasn't much in the sermon for me act on. Then the Pastor challenged us to make a difference.

“Don’t be obnoxious and picket, be forgiving and compassionate.” 
Ok, no problem- I think.

"Pray for and support the local pregnancy center."
I get those emails. I pray. Money is harder to come by.

"Adopt if you can." 
Whoa! Jaquan immediately came to my mind, and I thought, “We could do that.”

The service continued with the story of Steve and Joy, of their heart wrenching loss of three babies, before their adoption of a little girl. Again I was moved and felt the encouraging thought, “We could do that.”

I was pretty quiet about what I was feeling in my heart. Then in early January, our nephew Parker was born. Unfortunately his big brother, Landon had been through a series of infections and the doctor wanted them separate for a while, so two week-old Parker came to our house for five days. Suddenly we were changing diapers and getting up in the night to fix bottles. Rachel and I looked at each other and said, “We can do this. Again”

A few days after Parker went home, my activator of a wife was checking out adoption agencies online. “We can do that,” had become, “We want to do that,” and “God want us to do that.” As she read testimonials on websites, I repeatedly heard some form of, “Our family just didn't feel complete.” I told Rachel that I didn’t feel like that at all. I don’t feel an empty spot in our family where a baby is supposed to be. I’m not saying that others are not perfectly correct in saying they feel that way. I’m saying I don’t. I just feel God leading us to give, like He did at Christmas. Except now we are to give a family.

Now, every step we take towards giving someone a family feels right, and each leads my heart to having a open spot, a spot for our someday child.