The Process

We start here and we end there and then we start over.  So what happens in the middle?  The process.  I sit on an American Airlines flight from Quito, Ecuador back to the US.   I am in the process of going from where I was to where I need to be next, home.  I am home for ONE day and then on the road to Chicago to interview Missionaries for Extreme.  My life seems to constantly be in the process stage.  I am moving from here to there and back again.  Striving towards purposes that seem unattainable and yet, they are creating who I am.  It is not what happens in the beginning or what happens at the end, but in moving from that one spot to another that is life changing.

The last 4 months I have been in a process that in all honesty, I don’t understand.  It started in Nairobi, Kenya in July and still today it is pushing and moving me harder than I have ever been before.   I know that is hard to believe, all things considered, but it is true. 

The worship team was leading us, this group of 43 students called into missions and about a dozen leaders.  The worship was simple, yet powerful; Swahili and English mixed in an array of songs that lead us to the throne of God himself.   Quietly they began to play the simple tune, “Trust and Obey.”  You know it, super old school.  No great theological depth or power, just an honest proverbial song that guides in our walk with Christ; “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”  And then it happened….God spoke.  “Rachel, I want you to say ‘yes’ again.“ God gave me red hair for a reason.  My defiant streak came to the surface: “Really God?  Really, you want me to say yes again?  If I remember correctly, I said yes when I was 15 when you called me to be a missionary.  Again 5 years ago you called me out of where I was and into this crazy world called Extreme Nazarene Ministries, where I gave up a job that paid money, that had a paycheck with a paycheck and now, you want me to say yes again?”

Now please remember that God and I are close.  I was not being ultra defiant or disrespectful, just honest about where I was at that moment in time. 

God said “You are too comfortable.  You have been Mobilizing for almost 5 years with Extreme.  You love your little home on 2 acres with your chickens and garden.  Chad loves his teaching job.  The boys are doing well in their amazing school and you are too comfortable.”  As I made my way to the alter I began to process what all this meant.  How could I give any more?  Was I willing to say “yes” again, no matter what it meant, no matter what the cost?

As I knelt at the altar I knew that I was about to enter a process.  God had somewhere for me to go and it started there.  I called Chad that night, because technology is wicked cool and I can call my husband from half way around the world.  I told him the story.  He was quiet, which is beautiful, since I haven’t quite learned this quality yet.  And with a quiet honesty he said “This is the hardest 'yes' we have ever had to say.” 

"Why is that?" you ask.  Because we don’t know where it is going to lead us. 

It is the process of faith and trust and hope with complete obedience and a blind assurance that only God can give.  I don’t know where it is going to lead.  I don’t know what God has for us.  What I do know is that “No eye has seen, no ear has heard and no heart has imagined what God has in store for those who love him (1 Corinthians 2:9).”  Over the next few weeks, I want to ask you to journey with me.  I can’t promise what will come from this.  Like I said, I am still in the process.  But I need to walk through my last 4 months of process and I would like for you to walk with me, pray with me and believe with me, that God has amazing things in store!